i don't know how to put this.
i really don't know.

seriously, you have crossed the line.
i don't care if you tell others im a bitch,
whatever!
i don't care at all!

why? because it's just a pack of lies.
if it's the truth then surely i have nothing to say.

and let me emphasize, i have my reasons for doing things.

let's say , one day you just gave me a slap.
i wouldn't hate you for that.
even if i remember that slap for life,
i won't hate you for that.
it's such a small thing;
its a waste of energy, and in the first place why should i waste my time hating you?

As christians we shouldn't hate.

so, i don't hate you.
but really, that's the end for you.
but wait, not for me!
i know you're trying to push me to the corner.

maybe i'm there.
But God will give me a way out no matter what.
i know what i'm doing and to me, it's right.

If 2 of us are alone in a room.
and i'm staring at you real hard.
pretend you are someone like Charis.
she wouldn't be freaked out.
she wouldn't get nightmares.
she would just go over and ask me whats wrong.
and she means it.
she really cares.

unlike YOU.

you were freaked out right?
you went like OMG.
you are saying alynna tan is such a bloody bitch.
why?
it's because you have a guilty conscience.

in any case,
even if you go over and ask " hey what's wrong? "
you don't mean it.
kou shi xin fei.
and that is just acting innocent, as if you don't know anything.
WRONG.
i know it all.
i'm sure you know it very well too.
like i said.
God gave us this thing called conscience for a purpose.

camp was really tiring today.

to think when it ended i was in a good mood, but really worn out.
when i saw that msg i really didn't know what to do.
i was just unable to control everything and i blurted it all out.

at that point of time i really felt like throwing my phone on the floor.
i had to do something to vent my anger.
i really couldn't control.
so i talked it out with Charis.
thanks charis for your support. love you loads babe.

Charis really reminded me to control my emotions.
and not be so worked up, because i'm letting the devil work in me.
i didn't think of that.
but in such a situation...
i really appreciate that she was there for me,
and that she really gave me advice.
but as you know.
alynna was being super super super not in control of everything
WHILE
charis was being super super super calm.

Thank God for giving me such a good friend.

i totally felt like dropping dead or something.
you have gone overboard.
like hello? i'm also a human and i have feelings.

how would you like if i went around and spread that you are having a rship with someone?

and to add fuel to the fire,
A THIRD PARTY IS INVOLVED???

what do you think this is.
who do you think i am?

i'm not like those cheap people.

don't you get it?
everything you have done,
i don't know why you did it.

and i never backstabbed you.

you said we were very very good friends.
in that case,
why would i backstab you right?
like i said,
plot a proper storyline before telling others the story.
you will fail your compositions if the story doesn't flow and has no link.

please, stop fabricating tales.
you think its very fun isit?
why not try it out on yourself?

and stop being such a hypocrite.
i cannot stand hypocrites.

i am strongly against hypocrites if you all don't know.
don't push your luck.
i have a limit to my patience,
and i have alrd extended the line for you.

one more step,
and that's it.

don't worry, i won't get violent and bash you up or something.
i will never do that.
i don't resort to such cheap means.

and again,
if you're trying to get me into hysteria,
i'm sorry.

let me tell you,
i won't do anything stupid.
i won't commit suicide.
i have to die one day.
but at least, i die for the Lord,
not because of you.


GO AND REFLECT.
YOU NEED IT LIKE SO MUCH.

i know you must be thinking im being such a bitch now.
look who's talking.